A Not So Common Story.....

I've got this story to tell..one that really bothers me to tell, however I think you my readers will appreciate this it. I will warn you now...it's a sad one so have some tissues handy. I will also inform you that I won't make a habit of writing sad stories..just this one...I promise.

I grew up in a small country town and had my best friend, Angela, living only 5 doors away. Angela's little sister and my little sister were  best friends and Ang's mum and my mum were best friends. So we all lived more or less as the one big loving family doing everything together...trying our first cigarette...drinking our first alcoholic drink...telling about our first kiss with a boy. It was bliss, having her so close to home.

We eventually all grew up and moved away from our little town, starting our families...going through separations, Ang and I both becoming single parents..and sharing every minute of our ups and downs together.

I had been living and working on a horse stud about 2.5 hrs drive away and Ang would come to visit me when she could. One weekend during her visit, she said she wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home early. I said ok, no worries but ring me when you get home.

So the phone rang 4 hours later, I picked it up and it was Angela's sister crying, Ang was in hospital and in LABOUR!!!...I laughed and said ok sure...whats really wrong...but it was the truth...Ang WAS REALLY in labour. I was in complete shock..I had my friend with me for the weekend, the woman I knew EVERYTHING about and I didn't even know she was 9 months pregnant!

She had been seeing this man and fallen pregnant, although he wasn't ready to be a father, so Ang decided she would put the baby up for adoption as she knew she couldn't care for a young one on her own. She had come to stay with me thinking she still had 2 weeks to go before the birth and did very well at hiding her belly. Ang was right when she said she wanted to leave early, she knew she was going into labour and drove herself to the hospital.

So my sister and I drove the 2.5hrs that night, to find our friend alone in the maternity ward...I wanted to cry...I really did, but I knew I had to be strong for her. So with her sister by her side and my sister by my side..we delivered the baby, a beautiful blue eyed blonde haired little boy on July 1st 2003...weighing in at 9lb..How the hell did she manage to hide that????

Once all was done we discussed her options...she told us her story and why she had kept it a secret..small country town..and being a single mum with now 2 kids just wasn't her plan. She was so confused...holding this gorgeous baby and knowing she had already told the midwives her plan to adopt him out. After long talks..just us 4 girls.. we all decided we would keep him and help Angela raise him, so we named him Jacob.

Everyone went into overdrive..buying clothes,cots,nappies,bottles..you name it we needed it..after all Ang wasn't planning on bringing him home.

Jacob became the light of our lives..this very special little boy. We christened him and I became his God-Mother...a role I was SOOOO proud of. He grew so quickly and happily in his loving little family with his mum and big sister Tamara.

The love, laughter and sunshine was short lived as less than 2 years later, Jacob was diagnosed with Leukemia...from there he spent nearly 5 long years in the Royal Children's Hospital in Brisbane, where they poked and prodded him trying to kill this disease. He had bone marrow transplant..the works...and all the while his mother Angela sat by his little side, she moved to the city and lived beside the hospital to help care for her beautiful little man Jacob for that whole time. Jacob started fighting back and was well enough to come home, he started school...Can you believe it? Tough little tacker actually got out of that hospital and started Prep at the same school i went to as a little girl.

Jacob died in May this year, just 2 months shy of his 7th birthday. All up he spent 5 years in that hospital, 5 years fighting a battle that no one ever wins. His mother also fighting ...non stop...looking for a cure..raising money for a cure...eating...sleeping....crying for a cure.

It disgusts me to say that never once in that 5 years did I visit Jacob in hospital, I would see him every now and then on one of his very few visits home and never ever will I forgive myself for not being there for him or my Friend, his mother...Angela. I will be honest with you all now though...I will admit just how naive I was...I actually thought he wouldn't die...in my heart i really did think he would be ok and we would all be sending him off on his first date..maybe I didn't visit him in those dark days as I didn't want to admit it was actually a major possibility that he would die from this disease?

I will also never forget the day it happened..I had been in hospital...just finished my breakfast and my phone rang...the words.."Jacobs gone to heaven"...passed through my ears and hit hard into my chest...my heart broke that day..I felt it...it tore clean in two and it physically hurt. I was alone in that hospital room...sobbing with the news that i thought would never come, when a Nun walked in and without a word held me in her arms..she asked what was wrong and in between sobs, I told her my story, Angela's story and most of all Jacobs story...we took Holy Communion together that morning and I prayed for Angela...she was the one now who needed the help. Her beautiful baby boy was gone and now she needed all the prayers we could possibly give.

Now I would like you to just sit back and think about this for  minute...you fall pregnant unexpectedly...you think about adoption..yet you don't..so you keep this gorgeous gift from god..only to have him healthy for not quite 2 years of his life...he is then sick for the rest of it..and eventually God takes him back..Do you believe in fate? and if so...what lessons is Angela suppose to learn from this? Everything happens for a reason right? Well whats the reason to have so much anguish happen to one person?

The only way I want to remember my little God-Son is happy...his first day of School was one of his happiest days ever....In remission and heading off to school...you can't ask for more than that!

On the wings of Angels you fly Jacob 'Jubba'....I will always love you and until we meet again...save me a seat xoxoxo